Without Him, I Would Not Be

This is my first Father's Day, with a dad who doesn't know me. A year ago, he had moments of recollection. Today, everything we shared for 60 years is forgotten.

I am my father's first child. I was born in France, as he served his country. We were lucky, many of the men he trained with in basic training at Fort Ord, went on to serve in the front lines. Dad, due to his success in all the training fields, had the opportunity to serve in a different capacity. A capacity, that allowed his pregnant wife to join him.

Following my arrival, the three of us lived in a very cramped French flat. Our only furnishings were a bed, a small dinette set, a wooden rocking chair, and a transistor radio.

My companionship with dad began as a post dinner ritual. In an effort to allow my mom some rest and personal time, Dad would fold his willowy six-foot frame into the wooden rocking chair. Then he would set me on my back or stomach, across his lap, and rock in the chair. He would read or listen to the BBC, as the evening hours ticked by. That companionship would remain with me, all my days.

He was my first European travel buddy. When we returned to the US, he horsed around every evening with my younger brother and I, while mom made dinner. He taught me how to ride a bike; to drive, he even tried to teach me to jog, but that didn't take. He built us a swing set in the backyard. He painted and wall papered every bedroom of mine. He remodeled our house when my baby sister arrived. He drove me to every swim meet. He taught me the value of a daily spiritual practice.

Was he perfect? No. But his imperfections don't change the beautiful things he brought me. This year is a unique Father's Day for me. He is here and he is gone at the same time. I am grateful for 61 years of happy, unique, and special memories with him.

I hope you have some lovely Father's Day memories this year. Because without them, none of us would exist.